Of Assassins and Soldiers and Armoured Avengers
by drinkingteawithhellhounds
Summary: OneShot: Wally and Robin are role-playing. They start to asign characters and things get a little messed up.


**AN: This one goes out to SakuraTenshi39062 by some-time beta-reader all time friend and comic book buddy. Happy (Belated) Birthday.**

**To everyone else: REALLY minor spoilers for the Avengers movie, if anyuone hasn't seen it yet.**

Of Assassins and Soldiers and Armoured Avengers

"... So does that make Artemis Black Widow?"  
Wally shrugged, "It makes sense, I mean she is a totally hot ex-assassin who now works with the good guys."  
Robin frowned, "So who's Hawkeye?"  
"Roy?" Wally offered, rolling over so he was sitting on the couch upside-down with his head on the floor, staring at his teammate, balancing one-handed on the back of a chair.  
The acrobat frowned; "I had him pegged as Hulk."  
Wally shook his head, "No, Supey's Hulk."  
Robin shrugged, "Fine, Connor's Hulk, Roy's Thor."  
"Artemis is Black Widow, making me Hawkeye." Wally grinned, "What about you?"  
"Iron Man?" Robin suggested, doing a neat flip and somehow retaining his sunglasses.  
"But what about Rocket?" Wally asked, raising his eyebrows.  
"What else am I meant to be?" Robin asked, "I thought we already established that M'Gann was Cap."  
"She is." Wally agreed, "But Raquel is totally Iron Man."  
"So who am I?"  
Wally paused for thought; "Phil?"  
"Who?" Robin raised an eyebrow as Wally rolled his eyes.  
"Phil Coulson, most badass man alive or dead."  
Robin looked mildly surprised, "Why's he Phil? Isn't his first name Agent?"  
Wally sighed a world-weary sigh, "Is that a yes?"  
"Wouldn't being 'Phil' make me a M'Gann fanboy?"  
"Yes and the way we're writing it, right now Cap and Hulk are gay, which really isn't canon. So sue me."  
"I'll hold you to that Wall-Man. So what about Zee and Kaldur?"  
"Kaldur is Nick Fury."  
"No, I think you'll find that, if I'm Coulson, Batman is Fury."  
"So who gets to be Hill?" Wally asked.  
Robin smirked, "Canary?"  
"Done. But what about the Council?"  
"Good intentions, poor execution." Robin mused, before finally deciding, "Doctor Fate, Superman, GA and Wonder Woman."  
Wally raised a hand, "That still leaves Kaldur and Zatanna."  
Robin shrugged, "Are we including the other movies, y'know, the prequels?"  
Wally frowned, "I suppose, unless one of them is Loki."  
Robin shook his head, "No, Luthor is Loki."  
"Really? I thought he was more of a Sportsmaster."  
"I see your point..." Robin conceded, "But Kaldur is War Machine, y'know, Rhodey from Iron Man 2."  
Wally nodded sagely, "Agreed, what about Zatanna?"  
"Pepper Potts?" Robin suggested, "Making Red Tornado Happy Hogan, their driver."  
"I thought he was that scientist from Thor, Doctor Selvig." Wally said, "And seeing as how Raquel is Iron Man wouldn't Icon be Happy?"  
Robin tilted his head as he need a neat series of backflips. "Okay then, what about Wolf and Sphere?"  
"Not sure... But Gar Logan could be Bucky from Captain America."  
"So, wait, is Martian Manhunter Howard Stark?" Robin asked, "How does that make sense?"  
Wally shook his head; "Wolf and Sphere?"  
"Wolf could be a Bilshnipe." Robin said, "Along with all the league members still unaccounted for."  
"What's a Bilshnipe?"  
"Big, scaly, HUGE antlers. Trample stuff." Robin explained.  
"Hold up. I thought the League were the Asguardians?"  
"Good point," Robin said, "Fine, League are Asguardians, Wolf is a Bilshnipe and Sphere is the Tesseract."  
"Have we missed anyone?"  
"Cheshire?" Robin asked, "Does Black Widow have a sister?"  
"No." Wally said, "But maybe she could be Sif, Thor's lover back on Asguard."  
"Okay then," Robin said, flipping one more time and landing in the seat of his chair; "Let's run through this one more time."  
Artemis?"  
"Black Widow." Wally replied immediately.  
"Connor?"  
"Hulk."  
"M'Gann?"  
"Captain America."  
"Kaldur?"  
"War Machine."  
"You?"  
"Hawkeye."  
"So, I'm Phil."  
"Yes, you are, and Bats is Fury."  
"Raquel is..."  
"Iron Man, Zatanna is Pepper."  
"That's messed up."  
"Your point?"  
"Nothing."

"Roy is Thor,"  
"Black Canary is Agent Hill. Sportsmaster is Loki."  
Robin grinned at Wally.  
"Get the paper and glue, KF, we've got work to do."

"Not that I'm complaining about being compared to a hot Russian assassin." Artemis said stalking into the kitchen, "But why was there a picture of Agent Romanov from the Avengers stuck to my door?"  
Kaldur shook his head, "I do not know, but I also had a picture attached to my door this morning."  
He held it out and Artemis snorted, "Rhodey isn't even in the Avengers, Kaldur."  
M'Gann frowned, "I also had a picture, who is this man?"  
Artemis' eyebrows shot upwards; "You got Captain America, M'Gann. But what about..."  
All eyes drifted to Connor, who thrust out his picture with such force that everyone was hard put to register more than a blur of green. Artemis sniggered; "The Hulk."  
Raquel and Zatanna were next to join the group; "Is there any reason why we got pictures of Iron Man and Pepper Potts on our doors?" Raquel asked, brandishing her creased portrait of he armoured avenger.  
Everyone unanimously shrugged.  
"Recognised, Batman, 0-2."  
Next door the zeta tube lit up and the team made it's way into the room just in time to catch a glimpse of a red and yellow blur pass through, leaving no trace of it's appearance except a fluttering square of paper.  
Artemis could have sworn she saw Batman grow a self-satisfied smirk as he plucked the picture of Nick Fury from the air...


End file.
